I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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