garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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