I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
My penis needs a shock collar
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
