is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
