I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize