Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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