i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
