Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
