Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize