I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
