Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
