Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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