you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
