Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
