yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
