I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
time to smoke my breakfast
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
