oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
