and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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