I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Holy sore nipples Batman
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
