Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
