need another drink. this is the easiest way
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
