Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
