You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize