When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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