Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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