you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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