we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
