he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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