why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
