I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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