you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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