i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
