Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize