@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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