if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize