Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Shitshow foam night was such a success
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
