we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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