this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
