i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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