1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
