i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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