He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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