saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
