i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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