You made me cry and you don't even care
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
