I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
