Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
My bed smells like the plague
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
