dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
my poor anus
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
