dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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