Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
