Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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