4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
cat food counts as protein by the way
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I will pee on everything he values.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
