i just wanna soil my oats bro
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
