Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
