If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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