i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
