Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
