So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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