Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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