so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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