If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
