I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
